I Think I Kinda Like Merta…
I haven’t written a personal blog about music in here in forever, but this seemed like a good time to do it, as I am finding strange and unusual feelings stirring inside of me…
I think I’m starting to really like Merta.
“Oh, a journalist is excited about a band, big whoop, what else is new?” you might be thinking. But the thing is, I haven’t felt excited or interested in almost anything since my cub passed away in July. Actually, that’s not true. I haven’t felt much of anything at all other than severe anguish since we got in a fight and he more or less stopped talking to me in August of 2022. I’ve been completely dead inside and every effort to find anything that sparks joy in me has had a lukewarm reaction at best. So to find something that’s igniting some genuine enthusiasm in me right now, honestly, feels like a minor miracle.
From the little I’ve been able to gather about them, they are an electronic modern metal act, with the singer, Juhis Kauppinen, hailing from nearby Kerava. As I understand it, he’s the lyricist and main songwriter, as well as a talented vocalist who can cover a lot of different sounds, from soft, gentle, poppy cleans, to rather brutal growls. Merta, as I understand it, translates to “trap” in English, but more specifically, one of those traps that are used to live-catch fish. Why they chose this band name, or how, is a question I cannot answer, but you can certainly color me curious. If I were to describe them, I’d almost say it’s like if Happoradio decided to steer into heavy metal, and I have always had a soft spot for Happoradio.
The funny thing is, that I’m not sure my newfound love for this band is entirely objective. Okay, don’t get me wrong, their music is really skillfully executed and they’re all very talented, but they also happened to creep into my sphere of notice in a time that made them very distinctly stick with me and it had nothing to do with their music. I first heard their name when they did a small tour with Ember Falls, who are my reigning favorite band due to their amazing music, cohesive visual style (in both outfits and design), and for being IRL really good people with progressive, modern morals who care about the world and their messages. Sadly, they aren’t touring or making music anymore though, as of this year. Merta actually matches well with them sound-wise, though I wouldn’t say the two acts have much in common beyond sounding like they have the same genre, as Merta has more life songs and Ember Falls had a storied dystopian theme. I confess that I didn’t really watch their album release show that night because I was too busy schmoozing with the folks I knew, but the name registered with me and earned itself an association with my favorite act.
Then, back in April, I was touring with Arion in Tampere-Kouvola-Helsinki, with different opening acts each night. Merta had popped by when I was setting up merch at the Tampere show, so I asked if they wanted me to look after their sales as well, as they didn’t have anyone running their merch. There, I became acquainted with Juhis and the bassist, Kalle. They were a lot of fun—Kalle in particular hung out at merch for a good while with me—and I feel like we were immediately joking around together, which is great and often rather uncommon. A lot of Finnish bands will clock that your Finnish isn’t so good and will start to treat you like part of the furniture, so I appreciated that they hung out and were friendly with me.
I also clocked a vibe off the singer—perhaps it’s because they’re from the same town and they have a somewhat similar look with the face/neck tattoos, and were probably not too far off from each other in age, but Juhis has a… familiar vibe that rather reminds me of my cub when he was in a good/goofy mood. It’s not that they look or act the same, per se, it’s just a sort of… type of energy, to which I seem to respond. I mean, it makes sense, my cub was my whole world, so if anyone makes me think of him, I’m inclined to like them, because I loved that cub so much.
It also doesn’t hurt that Juhis (at least insofar as his IG profile would suggest) seems to be a really adoring father to his little one. I couldn’t tell you exactly what he was thinking about when he wrote songs like “Sun kanssasi” or “Hiukkanen,” but that shit immediately started making me cry when I started to listen to the lyrics… I’d be very surprised if the latter, at least, was not a loving song about his child. So yeah, any adoring parents certainly hit me in a tender spot right now, or people who write music that makes me think of my cub. I’ve also caught my partner walking around the house and weeping while singing along to their lyrics, or pausing in a conversation and listening to the words and saying, “this is so relevant” or “fucking legit” in passing.
The more I read the lyrics, the more that I find Juhis to be a really interesting guy that I’d genuinely like to do some interviews with. Go through the Tuonela archives and see how many bands I’ve given a shit enough about to interview since I merged with them. Go on, go look. The answer? 10. I’ve done interviews with 10 artists since then and one of them was because I did the review so Laureline wanted me to do the interview too and I was still willing to hoof it in early 2021 (if you’re curious: Classless Act (once with everyone in the band, Derek Day thrice now), Luna Kills and Where’s My Bible for 5 minutes each during the Come to Latin America finalists show (IMHO that hardly counts, but okay), Everfrost, Shaman’s Harvest, Ember Falls, Noora Louhimo, Cory Marks, Anette Olzon, and Pihka Is My Name). The last 6 of them were album release interviews right after I merged with Tuonela and was still enthusiastic about things. Compare that to the probable 200+ that Laureline has done in 3 years and you’ll catch the significance. I am not interested in anyone these days, at least enough to put effort into researching and producing the interview. Hell, I’ve been squatting on an interview with Marko Hietala from the spring that didn’t end up getting published on Tuonela and I haven’t gotten around to releasing on my own channel yet (I figured I’d leave it for a year-end thing at this point).
Finally, I most recently saw Merta again when they were opening for Machinae Supremacy in October and I actually got to hear them perform properly (in Tampere, I had been present for their show but I was selling merch, so they didn’t really have much of my attention). I felt immediately impressed by the energy and passion that went into the performance, as well as the music in general, which was catchy, emotional, and powerful. Furthermore… I have these moments, sometimes—and I have them less and less as I let him go as best as I can—but sometimes I feel like I can conjure my cub’s energy to keep me company, and other times it feels like it invades me when he’s not even on my mind. At this recent show, a vision of him standing in the crowd, bobbing his head along, popped into my head unbidden, giving me an approving nod. After seeing them in Tampere, I had wondered if he’d like their music (being the big metalcore fan that he was), and this seemed to unequivocally suggest to me that indeed he would have approved of them (especially since they sing in Finnish).
I have to say that the metal scene in Finland has completely lost my loyalty. I’m salty and jaded, sick of the gatekeeping and racism towards non-Finns when it comes to getting paying jobs (or even respect, at times), sick of feeling like I’ll never get anywhere because my communicative Finnish isn’t that good, sick of bands acting like they’re entitled to reviews and promotion, only to then go off and save their premieres and interviews for our toxic, low-quality main competitor, sick of friends and acquaintances taking my work and giving nothing back, sick of labels still focusing on greed and ignoring the human equation, sick of the soap opera drama within PR organizations, sick of reps acting like they’re better than me after I’ve done nothing but support their artists (for free, I remind you) for over 10 years… I’m a very loyal, dedicated, and hard-working person when I want to support someone, so I’m really fucking done with this shit. I was happy that there was almost no one in the metal scene that even interested me anymore after Ember Falls called it quits. I was ready to retire from metal and just show my face at the odd merch gig or festival where I still feel like I belong.
That’s why I’m so astounded (and arguably, a little annoyed) to find a band that actually makes me feel feelings again. I quit as editor earlier this year and I have wanted to essentially leave the metal scene for the most part and focus my interest and energy in the much more progressive, warm, and open psych scene. But alas, Merta has made me want to pay attention again. It’s not fair, I wanted out of this stuff. I didn’t want to be interested in another metal band. I don’t want to be nice to yet another group of people who will surely take advantage of the fact that I’m a journalist but might very well cast me aside for bigger medias at the first opportunity. I do not trust in loyalty in this country. I do not think the metal scene is as inherently warm and welcoming as other people seem to think it is. I have been used and abused for far too long in this scene.
But… maybe I’ll sell merch for them some more (I am lined up for at least one of their shows in January with Battle Beast), so maybe I’ll do an interview or two, and we’ll see what happens. I have never been one to let the salt in my wounds get in the way from me doing anything that could be fun, so I guess we’ll see what becomes of my intrigue.
For now, I’ll leave you with this translation of the first song of theirs that hit me right in my Riku-wounds, as it sounds like it could have been written from me to him:
“Sun kanssasi” / “With You”
Nosta katse kohti minua / Raise your gaze up to me
Niin sä ymmärrät turhat pelkosi / In order to understand your futile fears
Hengitä tätä kaunista ilmaa / Breath in this beautiful air
Liian pitkään olet kauniin kuoren taakse / For too long you’ve been behind a beautiful shell
Kätkenyt haavasi / Hiding your wounds
On aika sun pelot karkoittaa / It’s time to banish your fears
Sun kanssasi saan, vapautta kantaa / With you, I get to carry this freedom
Sun kanssasi, tämän vapauden kantaa / With you, to carry this freedom
En anna sun itseäs piilottaa / I shan’t let you hide yourself
Tahdon kauneutesi maailmalle vapauttaa / I want to release your beauty to the world
Sillä sun kanssasi päätin vapauden jakaa / Because I chose to share this freedom with you
Kuuntele tätä ihanaa hiljaisuutta / Listen to this beautiful silence
Joka piilossa muilta pidetään / Which is hidden from all others
Kadotaan meidän omaan maailmaan / Let’s disappear into our own world
Jossa kauneutesi nähdä saat / Where you get to see your beauty
Ja vapaana itseäsi rakastaa / And freely love yourself
On aika sun pelot karkoittaa / It’s your time to banish those fears
Sun kanssasi saan, vapautta kantaa / With you, I get to carry this freedom
Sun kanssasi, tämän vapauden kantaa / With you, to carry this freedom
En anna sun itseäs piilottaa / I shan’t let you hide yourself
Tahdon kauneutesi maailmalle vapauttaa / I want to release your beauty to the world
Sillä sun kanssasi päätin vapauden jakaa / Because I chose to share this freedom with you
Sun kanssasi saan, vapautta kantaa / With you, I get to carry this freedom
Sun kanssasi, tämän vapauden kantaa / With you, to carry this freedom
En anna sun itseäs piilottaa / I shan’t let you hide yourself
Tahdon kauneutesi maailmalle vapauttaa / I want to release your beauty to the world
Sillä sun kanssasi päätin vapauden jakaa / Because I chose to share this freedom with you
[*translation done by myself, with assistance from Google and my partner]
